Instagram is not the real me — or the real anyone.

My photos on Instagram make me look like I have it all together, but most days it’s the opposite. Sometimes I post something after the toughest day, when my eyes are still swollen and puffy from all the crying. But I would never show that side of myself on the platform. I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I want to challenge everyone — let’s be real with each other. IG is full of pictures of sunny days and smiling faces. All we ever share are life’s happy moments and victories, like our daily iced coffees, the music we love, and graduation. Let’s start sharing about the disappointments and struggles too. We need to stop hiding behind what’s “Instagram-worthy” and start sharing the ugly truth: sometimes life is hard.

You know why this is crucial? Because if all anyone ever sees are pictures of cute outfits and fun times, if all we ever read are short captions with clever puns, easy stuff to hear and never the hard stuff, then people who are suffering will think that they’re the only ones. Suffering is a common experience but if no one ever talks about it, then those who are suffering will think they’re alone in it. So let’s start to normalize suffering. We all go through things big and small that make us sad, and even when we have days where we feel we “can’t complain”, it’s ok to share that we’re feeling down. We have commonality in the joys and the sorrows. If we start sharing more of both, then maybe some day we’ll reach a point where no one ever feels so alone that they take their own life.

Today I took a mental health day. It was so needed. But it was so hard for me to make the decision that I needed it. Even after sitting in my car crying for over half an hour, I kept going back and forth about working a half day. I thought if I could pull myself together then I could avoid the guilt that comes with being absent from work and adding a few small tasks to my colleagues’ plates. The thing is, if I had gone to work today I would’ve been miserable, and I would’ve made the whole office miserable too! Let’s normalize mental health days. The work will be there on Monday.